I am a Primitive Man
Chapter 3 – Catch a monster for dinner.
“Hoo.”
“Hoo.”
Finally freed from the fate of becoming primitive people’s food after confirming that Big Senior Brother and the others had truly left, Han Cheng took deep breaths, feeling that the world was so beautiful.
However, his good mood didn’t last long. When the sun set and the daylight faded, Han Cheng, who had become a tree, discovered a serious problem.
He was hungry.
Yes, hungry.
The kind of hunger where his front chest was touching his back.
However, he felt extremely helpless and desperate because he still couldn’t move.
As a child, he watched TV dramas and always thought Master Thief Bai Zhantang’s Sunflower Acupoint Sealing Technique was particularly cool. Especially the part where Li Dazui was acupunctured, holding two small red flags and posing as a sculpture near the door. It made Han Cheng both amused and envious.
Unexpectedly, now he was experiencing that feeling.
Damn it. He shouldn’t have been so curious to touch that rough mural.
After thinking for so long, Han Cheng finally came up with a plausible explanation for why he had crossed over.
The culprit was the crude mural on the stone wall.
While walking through the desert, he encountered a desolate mountain with crude and simple drawings carved on a rock face. They were drawings from primitive hands.
Later, thinking he had discovered something extraordinary, Han Cheng leaned over and used his hands to press against the mural to observe and then ended up here.
Damn it. Since he had brought himself here, why not bring his backpack along?
There were still five or six potatoes, seven or eight boiled eggs, and several packs of compressed biscuits and instant noodles inside.
“Gurgle, gurgle.”
Han Cheng shifted his attention for the eighteenth time, trying not to think about hunger, but his efforts failed again.
He found that no matter what he thought about, he would eventually bring it back to the topic of food.
Even the scent of roasted meat wafting from his body made him salivate.
If he could move now, Han Cheng wanted to take a bite of himself to satisfy his craving.
“Hiss.”
“Howl.”
Distant and deep roars echoed in the darkness, carrying a sense of ancient desolation.
Han Cheng, who had been slightly drowsy, shivered. His somewhat heavy head immediately cleared up, and he no longer had time to think about his stomach.
Only now did he realize a serious problem.
It was the primitive era now.
In the ancient times, fierce beasts were common. Humans, who later dominated the world, were still struggling for survival in the crevices, undergoing difficult transformations, and striving against adversity.
The primitive era’s nights were destined to be unsafe.
Especially for him, an existence that continuously emitted the aroma of roasted meat, he was like a roasted chicken, constantly beckoning to potential diners.
At night in the primitive era, it was a paradise for fierce beasts.
In the tranquil night, distant or nearby roars echoed, making Han Cheng’s hair stand on end.
Especially when he heard movement around in the woods and, aided by the moonlight, saw a few greenish orbs not far away in the woods, his heart almost jumped into his throat.
He had experienced encountering wolves in the wild at night. He knew these orbs were the eyes of wild animals.
Judging by the size of the orbs, the individuals crouching not far from him were much larger than wolves.
Han Cheng felt bitter, his heart pounding like a drum.
Damn it, he just narrowly escaped primitive people and now faced with the threat of becoming the dung of fierce beasts in ancient times. Who did he provoke?
Indeed, luck was important for a person. Although everyone crossed over, others were all showing off, while he, a crosser, had utterly rotten luck.
Was it because he didn’t consult the almanac when crossing over?
Han Cheng, whose heart was about to jump out of his throat, couldn’t help but complain in his mind.
He wondered if these ancient beasts found him, an outsider, not tasty, or if the mixed scent of burnt meat didn’t suit the taste of these ancient big shots.
Unable to see through their true faces, these mysterious beasts lingered around Han Cheng in the surrounding woods. After a few low roars, they eventually left without coming to eat Han Cheng.
Avoiding becoming the prey of wild beasts, Han Cheng felt like his whole person was about to collapse.
This was only the first day in the original world, and he had already experienced many thrills. Who knew how many terrifying surprises awaited him in the future?
Thinking this, Han Cheng couldn’t help but sigh secretly. He realized he had thought too much.
In his current state, even if he didn’t become someone’s dinner, he probably wouldn’t last more than three days.
Standing there like a tree, Han Cheng looked at the moonlit woods shrouded in a vast atmosphere. A trace of helplessness appeared at the corner of his mouth.
“Sasha, sasha.”
Sounds started again in the surrounding woods. Having heard this type of commotion many times before, Han Cheng, who had become indifferent, didn’t even bother to open his eyes.
Ever since a flat-haired beast flew onto his head from who knew where, stood there for half a day, and before leaving, audaciously left a pile of incredibly smelly bird droppings on his nose, he had already lost all hope.
Rather than enduring this kind of undignified suffering and slowly dying, he might as well have a quick and easy death.
The sound approached from far to near as if coming in his direction.
Finally, a wild beast dared to enter the circle of ashes to eat him.
Han Cheng, not afraid but rather happy, eagerly anticipated the wild beast coming to devour him.
At the same time, he was calculating where the beast would start.
It would be best to take a bite out of his neck first so he could suffer less pain.
“Pa, pa.”
“Pa, pa, pa.”
Some unusual sounds accompanied by a strange sensation came from the charred shell covering his face.
Han Cheng, who had been waiting for death, became furious. Damn it, this is outrageous, bullying too much!
If you want to eat, then eat. If you don’t want to, stop wasting time. Don’t you dare slap me in the face before biting me, what the hell!
Angry, he opened his eyes, ready to see what kind of beast was so twisted.
However, the scene before him completely exceeded his expectations.
Standing before him was not some ancient fierce beast but an old primitive man with white hair and a weathered face.
He was obviously startled by Han Cheng’s sudden opening of his eyes. The hand that was about to slap Han Cheng’s face stopped in midair.
A look of surprise flashed in his somewhat cloudy eyes but soon became a deep confusion.
The hand that the old primitive man raised lingered in the air for a while. Then, much to Han Cheng’s angry gaze, it descended onto his face again.
However, it wasn’t a slap but a caress.
He caressed Han Cheng’s mouth, nose, and many other places.
Han Cheng became even more furious, not just because this old primitive man was molesting him, but what angered him more was that the old bastard smeared the bird droppings from his nose all over half of his face.
He glared at the old man, expressing his anger.
At this point, he had already given up on concealing anything and didn’t care about being exposed.
However, the old primitive man didn’t stop because of his anger. Instead, he became more enthusiastic. After caressing Han Cheng’s face, he bent down and continued exploring further.
As the old primitive man crouched down, Han Cheng finally saw the scene below.
Behind the old primitive man, there were other primitive people.
Looking at the sexy tiger-skin skirt, the guy next to him drooling at him, and the guy with a big belly staring at him, along with a bone necklace complementing his dark face—weren’t these his senior brothers who had left yesterday?
It turned out their departure yesterday was just temporary. Leaving wasn’t their goal; their real intention was to return and bring their master here.
However, this master was a bit too unconventional. Upon their first meeting, he thoroughly examined every inch of Han Cheng’s body.
After all, Han Cheng was a man!
Han Cheng lamented in his heart. Although he was covered in a black charred shell, except for a few important parts on his head, the rest of his body was not spared. He didn’t have any sensory feelings, but watching the old primitive man continue to touch him, he couldn’t help but shudder.
Fortunately, the old primitive man didn’t touch him for too long. He stood up and said something to his senior brothers, which Han Cheng couldn’t understand.
Evidently, these primitive people respected this old primitive man greatly, including the leader, his senior brother, who looked at him with the utmost reverence.
These people chattered, spoke, and gestured, and Han Cheng had no idea what they were saying. However, looking at his second senior brother, who was drooling increasingly while gazing at him, Han Cheng knew it probably wasn’t good.
Could these people, like the monsters in Journey to the West, be discussing whether to fry him with some sesame oil?
Their discussion didn’t last long. Afterward, the old primitive man looked up at the sky and glanced at the circle of ashes and the footprints of some beasts around the ash circle. Suddenly, he placed his hands in front of him and made a strange gesture towards Han Cheng, muttering something indistinct.
Han Cheng could vaguely see some clues from their continuous conversation and gestures. He felt these people were telling the old primitive man about his origin.
However, the old primitive man’s actions and chanting-like movements confused him.
Could it be that they considered him a heretic and wanted to sacrifice him to the gods?
Who cared at this point? He had reached a stage where he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to see what kind of tricks this master and his disciples could come up with.
Han Cheng was now the epitome of “a dead pig not afraid of boiling water.” The old primitive man’s chanting stopped, and with a finger pointing at himself, several senior brothers holding stone sticks gathered around.